I was awake without eating for 36 hours, the price one pays for procrastination.<\/strong><\/p>\n Adderall<\/a> and similar medications have a reputation of abuse by women dieting and college students cramming<\/a>. Slightly less known misuses include athletes using it as a performance enhancer<\/a>, party kids taking it to curb the sedating effects of alcohol<\/a>, and creative artists relying on it to produce a higher quality and quantity of work.<\/p>\n I fully admit that all five of these contexts apply to me.\u00a0I have an addiction<\/a> to Adderall and abuse the drug because I’m\u00a0a stripper<\/a>;\u00a0it not only helps me work into the wee hours, but makes me a more social and entertaining person, which wins over customers and results in more income.<\/p>\n The first time I used a stimulant ADHD drug was when I was\u00a0cramming for high school finals. A classmate gave me 5mg of Ritalin<\/a>. We had a study group planned for the evening\u00a0and I was the blatant freeloader who’d been slacking all semester.<\/p>\n As I listened in on the rapid review, I was amazed at how well every last factoid sunk in. I was absorbing everything like a sponge\u00a0and still can’t think of a time I retained information so well. <\/strong>The Ritalin didn’t have me hooked\u00a0but I knew this drug had performed a near miracle on me, landing me a B+ on the final.<\/p>\n In college, I took the ADHD test offered by student services\u00a0and was diagnosed\u00a0but the health care center wouldn’t prescribe me stimulants. I tried the useless drug Strattera<\/a>, but after giving that some time, I\u00a0realized I could shop around for another doctor who didn’t necessarily have to know<\/em> about my alcohol abuse history.<\/p>\n I ordered a copy of my diagnosis test results and thanked god for HIPAA laws<\/a>. Gaming the system to score, man!<\/p>\n I wasn’t consistently on Ritalin throughout college\u00a0but I have a strong memory of quadruple-dosing on my 20mg pills when I had back-to-back finals. Yes, I felt like a crackhead\u00a0but man, do you know how convenient it is to not<\/em> experience hunger and be fully immune from distractions while cramming?<\/p>\n I had all my books, plus my laptop and other valuables\u00a0spread out at the library\u00a0and didn’t want to pack up the whole shop just so I could eat elsewhere without fear of being robbed. I was in the motherf*cking\u00a0ZONE during\u00a0that all-nighter\u00a0and nothing was going to take me out of it.<\/p>\n I was awake without eating for 36 hours, the price one pays for procrastination.<\/strong><\/p>\n Immediately after college graduation, I found myself sharing Ritalin with my friends. Three of us went to a rather shady house music event at a warehouse. We popped them so we could stay up all night and make the two-hour trip back home.<\/p>\n But\u00a0between age 23 and now, I’ve had different kinds of drug treatment that either did or didn’t include Adderall\u00a0because I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder<\/a>. Bipolar and ADHD have tons of overlapping symptoms<\/a>, such as impulsivity and hyperactivity. They coexist in my case, though I was told rather patronizingly during my bipolar mania hospitalization that I’d been “misdiagnosed” as ADHD.<\/p>\n Since my bipolar diagnosis, I’ve had many doctors refuse to prescribe me Adderall because it can trigger mania, which I struggle with more than depression.\u00a0One hospital’s specialized bipolar clinic actually suggested Adderall, which I didn’t dare ask for, having spent the better part of a year being talked down to, infantilized, and stuffed with awful sedatives.<\/p>\n Since this past June, I’ve been alternating between Adderall XR and Adderall short-release pills. I’m currently on the XR, but I’m constantly\u00a0pining for the other kind, which does the trick more quickly and effectively.<\/p>\n I requested the XR this past month because, despite the higher price, I thought it would be a smoother experience without making me so embarrassingly high-strung. But I forgot that the first time I took the XR, I wasn’t relying on a strip club for income, just the escorting, which involves fewer work hours and less of a “party girl” persona.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, since running out of fast-acting Adderall a week ago, my strip club hustle has plummeted. I can’t think of anything interesting or entertaining to say to customers. It’s all small talk instead of making them laugh or giving off sexy<\/a>, horny vibes.<\/strong><\/p>\n