I have met many who lack sexual attraction toward another person unless they become deeply emotionally or romantically connected with a specific person or persons. Their level of connection it takes for sexual desire to form is dependent on how close the relationship is rather than initial attraction.<\/p>\n

Until now I didn\u2019t understand it. I called them \u201chopeless romantics\u201d.\u00a0 In my ignorance, I accepted it as normal in women, strange in men.<\/p>\n

Now I know better. It is an orientation that is not chosen and it\u2019s called demisexual<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Demisexuality does not mean to be an active restraint or repression of sexual desires or actions. The term originated in the asexual community, specifically within the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN).<\/p>\n

Demisexuality is a part of the asexual spectrum and is not invalid sexuality. It means that the person is unable to feel sexual attraction to another person unless there is a strong friendship between them.<\/p>\n

Demisexuality varies based on the personal experiences and is slightly different for everyone. Emotional intimacy is a main component, usually, so some demisexuals find themselves attracted to close friends or romantic partners. Other components may include familiarity with the person and knowledge about them (ex: learning about aspects of their personality). However, forming an emotional bond doesn\u2019t guarantee that sexual attraction will happen.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Could You Be Demisexual?<\/h3>\n

If you\u2019ve gotten this far in this article, you might be wondering if you\u2019re demisexual. It\u2019s likely that you already have a suspicion that you are, but you just don\u2019t know for sure. This makes sense, considering that many demisexuals don\u2019t experience sexual attraction frequently, so it\u2019s hard to describe something with which you have little experience.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s brief list of possible signs that you might be demisexual:<\/p>\n

\n
1. You have mixed feelings about sex.<\/li>\n
2. The way you think about attractiveness seems to be different from how other people think about it.<\/li>\n
3. You like the idea of sex or want to have it, but can\u2019t think of anyone you\u2019d do it with.<\/li>\n
4. You view sex as an obligation, or have other reasons for doing it.<\/li>\n
5. Flirting doesn\u2019t make sense to you.<\/li>\n
6. You\u2019re nervous about dating and would prefer to date your friends<\/li>\n
7. When you do feel sexual attraction, it\u2019s confusing and\/or exclusive.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

   No one can tell you for sure whether or not you are demisexual. Only you know what you\u2019re experiencing, and everyone\u2019s experiences are going to be different.<\/p>\n

   No matter how strange it sounds, demisexuality is completely valid.<\/p>\n

   Article first appeared at COSTA RICA CONFIDENTIAL Click here to go to the source article.<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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