Allow me to let you in on one of the most puzzling ironies I\u2019ve encountered in my years of experience as a sex educator. Generally speaking, women report less frequent masturbation<\/a> and feelings of sexual desire than men, while men and young boys are stereotyped as sex and masturbation fiends. And yet, when it comes to exploring pleasure and sensuality, you\u2019re far more likely to find books, blog posts, and articles on how to get women off than how to get men off.<\/p>\n But there\u2019s so much more to pleasuring a penis\u2014and the person it belongs to. Just like vulvas and vaginas, penises and testicles are more and less sensitive in certain areas. Certain kinds of sensation may feel differently for different people\u2014one person might like having their testicles lightly pinched, another rolled between the fingers, a third gently cupped, a fourth left alone entirely. And just like people with vaginas, people with penises need to be mentally stimulated to experience physiological pleasure. That means setting the right mood and tone, whether that involves candles and incense or teasing and dirty talk.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not just the handjob that\u2019s been underrated. While the phrase \u201cfemale masturbation\u201d conjures images of a sexually liberated and cosmopolitan woman writhing glamorously with the assistance of a sleek purple vibrator<\/a>, male masturbation is often viewed as a strictly utilitarian affair. Men of the world, I ask you: When is the last time you truly enjoyed a masturbation session, fully exploring your body and luxuriating in pleasure? When\u2019s the last time you masturbated in the bath? Or with something other than your hand?<\/p>\n Chalk it up to bad design. A recent Motherboard feature makes the case that male sex toys lag behind female counterparts<\/a> in mainstream appeal because of the uncanny valley effect of Real Dolls and TwerkBots\u2014basically, these toys look too<\/em> human. New York City-based sex educator Lucas Brooks (better known by his blog handle, The Intellectual Homosexual<\/a>) agrees.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve spent five years in sex toy retail, and on a regular basis, I\u2019ll hear a female customer purchasing a vibrator see the Fleshlights and say, \u2018Ew, who would use that?\u2019\u201d Brooks explains. \u201cSomething that is representational of vulvas is less approachable and seems vulgar. But a fashionable, chic Lelo is aesthetically pleasing and abstract.\u201d<\/p>\n Looking at a selection of sex toys for men can sometimes feel like looking into a serial killer\u2019s closet: dismembered parts of women, garishly posed or decorated, leaving very little to the imagination. Autoblow\u2019s Vaginal Beauty Contest<\/a>, a search to find the \u201cperfect vulva\u201d to model for their next masturbatory aid, represents some of the most skin-crawlingly objectifying language associated with the male sex toy industry. And while manufacturers like Tenga<\/a> and Doc Johnson<\/a> have begun to offer abstract alternatives to ultrarealistic masturbation sleeves, many men aren\u2019t even doing the research to find out.<\/p>\n \u201cI often find that guys walk in with a very specific idea of what they want,\u201d says Brooks, \u201cand it\u2019s usually something like a Fleshlight or a Pocket Pussy\u2014something they\u2019ve heard of before. They aren\u2019t really educated about other options, what materials are out there, or different kinds of toys. I get a lot of questions about stuff like penis pumps, because guys see them in Austin Powers<\/i> and want to know if they really work. But most guys, even really sexually experienced guys, don\u2019t know much about what\u2019s out there.\u201d<\/p>\n As a feminist who is deeply aware of the orgasm gap<\/a> and the very real struggles women face in pursuing sexual pleasure, it can feel a little silly to focus my education efforts on the pleasure of men, who are experiencing plenty of pleasure already. But encouraging men to explore their sexuality goes beyond better orgasms and healthier relationships\u2014it\u2019s also a matter of physical well-being.<\/p>\n \u201cRegular ejaculation contributes to prostate health,\u201d says Brooks, \u201cbut frequent massage is the best way to keep your prostate healthy, and that does involve putting things in your butt.\u201d Talk about a touchy subject. Anal may be <\/a>on the menu<\/a> for women, but for most straight men, there\u2019s still a deep stigma around receptive anal play<\/a>\u2014a stigma that might be putting their health at risk. For men who are seriously shy about penetration, Brooks says that massaging the perineum (the space between the testicles and anus) is a pleasurable and effective way to maintain prostate health\u2014but he recommends going the whole nine yards to really reap the benefits of prostate massage. Or, as he puts it, \u201cGet yourself off and keep your prostate soft!\u201d<\/p>\n Cancer prevention aside, exploring sex and pleasure beyond \u201ctouch your\/your partner\u2019s penis until it ejaculates\u201d is an important part of a healthy sex life. So, people with penises of the world: Touch yourselves. Touch parts of yourself that aren\u2019t your penis or testicles. Touch yourselves in ways you\u2019ve never touched yourself before. And partners of people with penises, take the time to explore your partner\u2019s body and treat their penis like the complex, unique, fascinating organ that it is.<\/p>\n And if you need some help getting started, come see me at Amos Eno or other events, and learn how to take a handjob from a sophomoric bore to a PhD master class of pleasure. There\u2019s far more to a penis than \u201ctouch it until it ejaculates.\u201d I want to educate the world on that, one flick of the wrist at a time.<\/p>\n Source: Fusion.net<\/a><\/p>\n![\"b5bc5f30-b6c4-0132-46b8-0e9062a7590a\"](\"http:\/\/costaricaconfidential.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/b5bc5f30-b6c4-0132-46b8-0e9062a7590a.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n\n
<\/h3>\n
It\u2019s a tired stereotype. Vaginas and vulvas are mysterious flowers with complex internal biology, while penises and testicles are external and straightforward. Advice for pleasuring a vagina could fill a book\u2014and has, several times over. Advice for pleasuring a penis usually starts and ends with \u201ctouch it until it ejaculates.\u201d<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\n
Just like people with vaginas, people with penises need to be mentally stimulated to experience physiological pleasure.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/section>\n
\n
\u201cEven really sexually experienced guys don\u2019t know much about what\u2019s out there.\u201d<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/section>\n