It\u2019s an affair that isn\u2019t rooted in reality. It\u2019s rooted digitally, and digital roots don\u2019t run deep.<\/p>\n

So if digital feelings aren\u2019t real feelings \u2014 why are we so enthralled?<\/p>\n

How is it possible for a person we don\u2019t even know, a person whom we hardly have borne witness to with our keen, naked eyes, to attain the powerful ability to conjure up such deep emotion within us?<\/p>\n

Because this person is playing out our fantasies, baby. And it\u2019s far easier to fall in love with a fantasy than it is an actual person.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to project a fantasy on to what isn\u2019t directly in front of us.<\/h2>\n

When real, living, breathing, fully realized human beings are in front of us, we can\u2019t project our illusions on to them.<\/p>\n

They are multi-faceted, deeply flawed, imperfect little creatures. They have opinions that are exclusively their own. They crave things we might not crave.<\/p>\n

On the contrary, when we only interact with someone at a distance, we are free to let our fantasies run wild.<\/p>\n

We inflate the weight of their beauty and brainpower in the safety of our heads because they\u2019re not sitting in front of us, proving us wrong.<\/p>\n

We can fill the empty spaces with whatever we want.<\/p>\n

Digital love is a profile picture; real love is a tagged picture.<\/h2>\n

Digital feelings can make us feel like we are head-over-heels in love. And it\u2019s easy for people to love us back quickly and recklessly too.<\/p>\n

Because we\u2019re not our full, real selves in the digital world. We\u2019re the perfectly curated version of ourselves. We are able to bend our identities to fit into their fantasies.<\/p>\n

They aren\u2019t looking at our puffy faces after a night of drinking too much. They\u2019re not witnessing us in the throes of the Sunday scaries when we\u2019re teeming with relentless anxiety about the looming work week.<\/p>\n

No. Not at all. We\u2019re simply sending them pretty pictures of ourselves in pretty lighting.<\/p>\n

We make sure our profile pictures on Facebook are impossibly gorgeous, right?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s always the picture that best displays our personal styles, and bodies and faces in the perfect softening filter.<\/p>\n

Tagged pictures are a far different story. They capture us unfiltered and off guard.<\/p>\n

In tagged pictures we\u2019re often drunk with one slanted eyed. We are laughing our faces off in a deranged fashion. We are dressed in terrible clothes looking like the definition of a creep. Glowing in an unflattering light.<\/p>\n

They aren\u2019t perfect. They are anything but perfect. But they are real. And more often than not, it\u2019s what we actually look like.<\/p>\n

The goal is to find someone who can find beauty in our tagged pictures. A digital romance doesn\u2019t give our partner a chance to even fall in love with our real selves because we don\u2019t let him or her\u00a0see us as we really are.<\/p>\n

No one can live up to his or her profile picture.<\/p>\n

We are able to perfectly construct our sentences.<\/h2>\n

We are able to calculatedly construct our words when we\u2019re engaged in a digital romance. When we\u2019re conversing in person, we don\u2019t have time to think.<\/p>\n

We don\u2019t have time to stew up the wittiest answer. We don\u2019t have the luxury of re-reading our partner\u2019s words.<\/p>\n

Person-to-person, we can only say what we\u2019re feeling in the heat of the moment. Which is usually the closest thing to the raw truth.<\/p>\n

Our partner might not want to hear our truth. In fact, if our partner did hear it, this person might decide he or she doesn\u2019t even like us.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve conducted the \u201cperfect\u201d text message responses for my friends to send over to their digital lovers. There is no way to even know that words we receive over text are authentically theirs.<\/p>\n

The real danger of the digital romance.<\/h2>\n

So why does it matter? Why can\u2019t we take a dip in the digital pond? It\u2019s fun. It feels good in here.<\/p>\n

Yeah, it\u2019s all fun. Until it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

We become so deeply engrossed in our digital romances, often for dark reasons.<\/p>\n

They prevent us from having to face our unhappy realities. They\u2019re akin to a Xanax: They work to temporarily stave off the pressing fear of being alone and the bouts of relentless anxiety.<\/p>\n

But just like a Xanax or a strong drink, when the buzz wears off\u2026 we\u2019re often left feeling worse than before.<\/p>\n

We become heartbroken because we are losing our fantasy. The falsified feel-good.<\/p>\n

We projected everything we wished and hoped could happen on to a digital person. A figment of our imagination. Once the fantasy evaporates, we\u2019re forced to look into the mirror of our lives. Without a filter.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard. It\u2019s hard to face the fact that we\u2019re unsatisfied at work. It\u2019s hard to confront our loneliness.<\/p>\n

But the only way to be truly happy is to take an honest look at our lives so we can figure out what proactive changes we need to make in order feel at peace.<\/p>\n

We need to stop looking for quick fixes and shortcuts to love and fulfillment. We need to fall in love with our real realities, not our digital \u201crealities.\u201d We need to cultivate wholeness within ourselves.<\/p>\n

And when we do finally get our hands on the real thing, when we do find someone whom we love in the in harsh rays of light \u2014 it\u2019s the most exhilarating feeling of all.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to meet someone online. This isn\u2019t about shaming those who date online. I\u2019m all for it. Hell, I do it.<\/p>\n

This is about being able to decipher the difference between illustrious, self-created fantasy and reality.<\/p>\n

Nothing holds a candle to honest, imperfect love. Nothing feels as good as something tangible you can hold in your arms.<\/p>\n

Real love loves the real you. You deserve someone who loves the imperfect, wonderfully f*cked up YOU. Not the perfectly curated you. The beautifully flawed, dynamic, one-of-a-kind you.<\/p>\n

Source: Elitedaily.com<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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