(CR!S) Would you tell your friend your most depraved sexual experience? Didn’t think so. Here are some sexual experiences just so down and dirty that we could never tell our friends and family, and even if we did, they’d never believe us anyway.
Reddit users revealed the naughtiest encounters they’ve had that their loved ones will never know about.
Hospital Sex
“Was in hospital for 3 weeks with pneumonia. Was around the time of the bird flu saga so everyone who came to see me had to wear masks, hospital robes, gloves; the whole nine yards, to prevent spreading it.
“Ex gf came to visit, was super horny as my door had a massive window in it that was right across from reception and I had a massive needle in my right arm which limited what I could do with myself.
“Shagged her in the ass in my suite bathroom with my drip in my arm and her in the full surgeons costume. Brother and mum walk into my room half way through with the nurse and can’t find where I am so I quickly finish then start coughing up blood to make it look like I was in the bathroom and my ex was helping me.
They still don’t know to this day what was really going on. Being able to cough up blood on demand was a handy get out of jail free card. I miss that ex.”
Feeding The Ducks
“Jerked off next to a duck in a park at 4 AM using a fake vagina I created using plastic bags, towels and rubber bands.”
BDSM Slave
“Lived as a 24/7 BDSM slave for about 8 months.”
“Exciting at first, but there were a lot of red flags early on that I ignored. I’d just had my heart broken for the first time and was looking for a distraction. I was completely new to the BDSM scene and thought I knew what I wanted but I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. Ended up being a bad situation, nothing super crazy just a lot of fighting, manipulation, and lies. Sex was great though.”
Party Boss
“I used to work at a bar, and one night my boss invited me out drinking at another bar. He got quite drunk and yelled at these 3 girls across the bar and they somehow talked to us. We got back to one of the girl’s studio apartment and we all talked for a while. 2 of the girls decided to go home around 3am and My buddy passed out on the couch.
“I apologized as she was wrestling around in her drawer. She took a line of Coke and offered me some. I was 19 and was pretty naive so I said no. She then jumped me and started to take of my clothes. After we started to have sex she asked if we should continue with my boss able to wake up at anytime. I told her he was either too drunk or he would understand.
“We had sex all night. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. At one point, I looked over at my boss while I was giving it to her from behind. He was awake and winked at me while giving me a thumbs up. That is a story I wont tell my friends or family.”
A New Pleasure
“Gotten a rimjob. It’s a running joke in my friend group, mostly as a shock joke. I’d always been curious, and it wasn’t until I was seeing this girl somewhat regularly that I thought it might be fun to try.
“We were really drunk and she was blowing me, then I asked her to lick my ass. She attacked my balloon knot, and I found out that it feels awesome. I’ve never experienced such bliss as having my dick yanked and ass tongued at the same time.
“As for her? She always hated giving blowjobs because they hurt her mouth. But she loves giving rimjobs!”
The Art Of The Deal
“Hmmm, the most relevant answer I have is: F–ked my dealer in the bathroom of an Italian restaurant (she was bringing me my weekly supply), while my family was eating a few feet away. Made it back n time for chocolate mousse.”
A Little Experiment
“I had drunkenly had sex with another guy just to see if I was fully straight. Yep, turns out it is definitely not for me. Just a fan of porn that has chicks with dicks evidently.”
The Teacher’s Daughter
“Dated my teacher’s daughter. Her dad didn’t know we were dating (we were closeted) so whenever I’d get frustrated with him in class (terrible teacher) I’d go to his house after school and f–k his daughter.
Mexico Vacation
“This will be absolutely buried but in the mid-1980s I took a road-trip to Mexico with my brother in an ice-cream truck. We met a prostitute at a bar/restaurant, went back to her mom’s apartment (?, it was kind of like a hotel but they were living there), and her really busted looking mother gave me a blowjob on a couch in the stairwell while my brother had sex with her daughter inside.
“I found out later that he paid for it because he figured that I would be bored while we waited. He died 20 years ago, nobody in the family ever knew, and that entire trip is one of my best memories of my time with him.”
Babysitting Orgy
“Had an orgy with a bunch of neighbors on my mom’s street.
“When I was about 18 I basically became just like a babysitter from a cheesy porno. The first couple that started it were swingers. They would come home really drunk and flirt with me. One night they got me drunk and it just escalated from there. After that they started bringing friends over. (People from the neighborhood I was also babysitting for) It went on for a few years until one couple got a divorce and I got blamed.
“Now that I’m older it’s really weird seeing them and talking to their kids that are about the same age now that I was then.”
From AllDay.com