There’s nothing worse than going at it, getting frisky and, just as things are about to get really hot and heavy—POP!—your penis decides that it needed to ejaculate, killing the mood and leaving you both embarrassed and probably afraid something might be wrong.

For those who have/had a little problem with letting your guys loose a little too early, you might be in luck, because there’s a new app for men who struggle with premature ejaculation.

Called Pea, the app was designed to help men last longer, as its creator, Brennen Belich, is an admitted early buster.

Rather than thinking of meatloaf, chairs, desks or anything else to ease the rush of sensation to your mind during sex, Pea helps men build stamina through virtual guides, kegel exercises, arousal control and masturbating training—which all sounds like the best kind of workout, if you ask me!

Talking to Product Hunt, Belich best described the app by admitting practice makes perfect, per LADbible:

“Just think of it like training for a race,” Brennen told Product Hunt. “If you want to be able to run for 30 minutes straight, you wouldn’t train by sprinting for two minutes, getting tired, and giving up.”

Somehow, that advice seems so simple, doesn’t it?

The app’s available in both the iTunes store as well as online, so stop stressing out over blowing your load and start to last longer!

H/T LADbible

You’re the only person that knows what you want, so why have sex with someone clueless if you can easily use your hands or a toy to do the job, no?

If you ask people how often they masturbate, they would say that they do it a few times per week. But there are those who get too busy with their lives that they forget to give themselves some sexy time.

It’s bad for your health and here are the reasons why!

You end up wanting to masturbate

This is especially true if you’ve gotten used to a routine when it comes to your masturbation. This feels too real for those who masturbate 3 times per day or more.

You get irritable

Not getting any release will definitely do funky things to your head. You start feeling as if you hate everyone around you and can’t stand being around them at all.

You feel horny all the time and you can’t do anything about it

Another horrible side effect of not masturbating after regularly doing it for a while is that your body starts getting withdrawal symptoms– which involves feeling horny during the most random times.

You just want to pounce on someone to get it over with

The slightest touch from the opposite sex can send you into overdrive. You would want to jump at the next hot person you see because you just want to get that sweet, sweet release.

Sex feels much better

Just because you’re not masturbating doesn’t mean that you can’t have sex with someone. Since you haven’t released in so long, it gets pent up and feels more satisfying once you get there.

You feel more stressed than usual

This is in connection to feeling irritable. Since masturbating can be a stress reliever, you can definitely feel the stress build up inside of you if you avoid touching yourself.

For women, their menstrual cramps feel worse

Orgasms can help strengthen a woman’s pelvic muscles. These muscles are the ones responsible for cramping. If a woman doesn’t masturbate, her menstrual cramps feel worse than the usual.

Your sperm’s motility slows down

Masturbating encourages your body to keep on making fresh sperm. This is extremely important if you’re trying to have a baby. Your doctor will tell you when it’s okay to masturbate and when it’s not when you’re trying.

You get fat

Because of your irritability and depression due to lack of masturbation, your next go-to stress reliever is going to be eating. And what does eating do? Make you gain weight.

You feel depressed for some reason

You just feel sad. You no longer get the happy hormones that come after you’re done masturbating and your body can feel it. Conclusion: Masturbation is the key to happiness.

You feel tired all the time

Another great effect of masturbating is the sudden burst of energy that you feel when you’re done. If you don’t masturbate, you don’t get that burst of energy that comes with it.

Men’s prostate glands can become swollen

Doctors will always recommend masturbating to those who have prostate glands that have the potential to get swollen. Masturbating relieves the pressure from your prostate and keeps it healthy.

So maybe try to get release every now and then if you wanna stay healthy

So, try to get as much action with yourself as possible. You never know what’s going to happen to your body if you stop something that it’s gotten accustomed to.

Source http://allday.com

So, I’m going to help you out, boys. Here are some things your lady might want, but she’s too self-conscious to ask for. Don’t pressure anything, of course, but if you offer, you may be pleasantly surprised at how enthusiastically she accepts.

She wants you to go down on her more

Our culture has a weird relationship with vag, if you haven’t noticed. Your lady has likely been exposed to a lot of lame-o messages telling her that her vag is “too hairy,” “too smelly,” “tastes gross,” or “ugly.” She might really love getting oral sex, but she’s afraid to ask you to do it because she’s afraid you’ve internalized the same messages that she has.

How to ask: It’s time to start sincerely praising her lady parts big time: “Your p*ssy is so pretty!” “I love the way your vagina looks.” “I love the way your p*ssy tastes.” “I love hearing you moan while I eat you out!” And so on. (If she is offended by the word “p*ssy,” obviously you should say something different.)

If she is still skittish about being eaten out, don’t push it. Offer to give a massage all over her inner thighs and on the outer folds of her labia; keep offering to do this, and keep praising her vagina, until she mellows out. And if she never does, maybe she’s just not into oral sex.

She wants to fool around in public

Let me be clear: Having full-on sex in public might be a little too risqué — not to mention messy — for some women, myself included. But that doesn’t mean a lady wouldn’t love a heavy-duty makeout session at that banquet in the far corner of the bar, the backseat of her car, or on her front steps!

How to ask: Download the Kelis song “In Public” — the chorus goes “Let’s get it on in public” — and when it plays, ask your girl if she thinks it’s sexy.

She wants to be dominated

Even big-mouthed ballsy women enjoy being dominated, yet dominating a woman scares a lot of men because they are afraid — rightfully so — of coming across as creepy. But with tons of trust and communication, you just need to take baby steps and constantly read her body language to make sure she’s comfortable, both physically and emotionally.

I want to emphasize the importance of baby steps: If you’re going to play around with domination, it’s never a good idea to start off with anything that might hurt her feelings or humiliate her (i.e., barking orders at her or name-calling). Playing around with restraints — loose restraints, of course — is definitely a better way to go.

How to ask: Start simple. Really simple. “Would you like it if I blindfolded you the next time I go down on you?” If she likes that, next time ask, “Would you like it if I loosely tied your wrists to the bedposts?” If she likes that, next time ask, “Would you like it if I held down your arms while I lick your breasts?” If she likes that, the two of you can figure out what else she might like.

It’s also a good idea to create a “safe word,” which is something she can say when she wants you to stop immediately. Sometimes in the heat of the moment people say, “Oh, noooo!” when they really mean, “Oh, that feels good!” So it’s good if your safe word is something other than “no.”

She wants you to be the submissive one

Getting dominated might not be her thing, but she might want to dominate you. Yes, even if she’s the meek and shy one. Speaking from a lady’s point of view, it can be awkward to tell a guy you want to dominate him because it’s hard to ascertain which guys will think it’s too emasculating. (I’m not saying a man getting dominated has to be emasculating; some guys just perceive it that way.) But if you think your woman might get her rocks off by playing the sex goddess, you getting dominated is worth bringing up.

How to ask: Does your lady ever ride Cowgirl? If that’s your favorite move, tell her that you just LOVE her in control. Then suggest the same things that I recommended under the “She wants to be dominated” section — say you want her to give you a blow job while you’re blindfolded, then with your wrists tied to the bed post. If she finds her inner domination queen, you’re a lucky guy.

She wants to be spanked

Lightly spanking a woman (i.e., nothing that could cause a bruise) can feel amazing for both of you. I’ve heard lots of women say that getting spanked sends lots of tingly feelings to their vaginal and anal areas, and I’ve heard lots of men say spanking a woman makes them feel like they are physically demonstrating their lust.

I’ve been pretty open about my own enjoyment with getting spanked and lots of women really like it. Unfortunately, asking to be spanked can be embarrassing for a woman because, well, it is sort of silly.

How to ask: Just like when you’re asking a woman if she wants to be dominated, the key is to take baby steps. While you’re making out, touch her ass a lot; squeeze it, rub it; show her you think her booty is amazing.

Whisper in her ear, “Can I give you a little spank?” If she says yes, do it once, softly. Ask, “Do you like that?” If she says yes or even if she’s ambivalent, ask if you can do it a few more times, all the while kissing her and still squeezing and rubbing her ass. Then you should probably stop.

Next time you guys are cuddling, bring up how you liked giving her little spanks and ask if she wants to try it again sometime. If she’s receptive, ask her if she wants you to do it harder or if she’d like to lie in your lap while you spank her.

One more thing: my advice about dominating a woman is the same here, too. Do not call her names or humiliate her unless she tells you that’s what she wants. For all you know, she has issues left over from childhood about being physically punished and calling her a “bad girl” might be upsetting. The same goes for women who might have had abusive relationships in the past.

Even if your woman really likes getting spanked, it’s important to remember that spanking is still hitting and you need to make it 100 percent absolutely clear that you’re only doing it in the context of sexual arousal. Understood? Now go get it on.

Editor’s Note: Some names in this story have been changed at the request of the interview subjects to protect their anonymity.

Elfin* and Gavin* have been together for six years. They have a clear affection for each other, touching each other gently on the shoulder when one says something the other appreciates and often looking at each other lovingly throughout conversation. Their respect and adoration for one another comes through even over a Skype call from their home in Queensland, Australia. Their home appears cozy and comfortable, and Gavin works long hours while Elfin stays home and tends to household needs. They also engage in what they call “feeding” – Elfin induces lactation and produces breast milk for Gavin to consume.

Elfin, 55, and Gavin, 57, are in what’s known as an “adult nursing relationship,” or an “adult breastfeeding relationship.” These arrangements are exactly what they sound like – one partner produces milk to share with the other through breastfeeding. For many, there is a sexual aspect to the nursing part of their relationship, but Adult Nursing Relationships (ANRs) are not strictly sexual. On the social media site FetLife, which serves people interested in BDSM and kink, a few thousand users discuss how they simply enjoy the act of suckling or exchanging milk while cuddling or watching TV on some nights, while on other nights the milk exchange may be part of their foreplay or sex itself. The dynamics of these relationships can be incredibly varied, and they are not limited to heterosexual pairings – there are many women who enjoy the act of suckling a partner, too.

People’s reasons for entering ANRs can be wildly different. Some are women who decided to induce lactation for their own reasons – perhaps they were unable to have children and lactating makes them feel more connected to their femininity, or provides some sort of emotional satisfaction — and enjoy sharing their milk with partners. Others do it within the context of a monogamous relationship. One woman on FetLife wrote that she induced lactation to nurse her husband but, as he travels a lot, she shares her milk with other men when he is out of town to keep up her milk supply. Chelsea*, a 38-year-old woman who is in an ANR with her wife, decided to induce lactation two years ago in an effort to help with her wife’s chronic health problems after medical interventions failed. And still others have breastfeeding relationships that are completely non-sexual in nature. “Personally, I’m platonic when it comes to breastfeeding,” wrote one user on FetLife. “The idea of just relaxing, covered in blankets, sipping some tea, coffee, or chai… while breastfeeding in the morning is ideal for me.”

Adult nursing relationships are often seen as taboo, as evidenced by sensational reporting, like when the New York Post accompanied a story about a couple in an ANR with the tag “WTF.” People who engage in ANR are often portrayed in the media as “freaks,” with commenters quick to point out how “gross” the act is. The comments following an ANR story on the website Scary Mommy reveals an array of people offering judgment on the couple in question, with some wondering why they feel the need to share their story publicly, and one commenter going as far as to speculate as to whether the ANR participants are “attention seeking egomaniacs.” Even in the world of kink and fetishes, ANR participants are outliers. “Even within the alternative communities, a lot of people don’t understand it,” Elfin explains. But for her, they don’t have to. “It all comes down to one basic premise: your kink is not my kink and that’s OK.”

Part of ANR’s taboo stems from some fundamental misunderstandings about who participates in it – and what it means. Where the “ick” factor comes in for many people – and where the triggering nature of the act lies for some survivors of childhood sexual abuse – is that it’s perceived to be sexualizing an act that’s associated with babies or child rearing. But this is not adult baby syndrome or age play, which involve the fetish of being infantilized. ANRs occur between two consenting adults who behave as adults within the context of their relationship, whether it’s a platonic relationship, romantic relationship, or BDSM relationship. The person suckling the milk from the breast does not pretend to be an infant or child, and the person providing the milk does not baby their partner.

Even in the world of kink and fetishes, ANR participants are outliers.

So what draws people into such uncommon and misunderstood relationships? The most frequent explanation is that it gives the partners a sense of intimacy they wouldn’t otherwise be able to achieve – a feeling facilitated by hormones that are secreted in order to produce a bond between mother and child, particularly oxytocin. Oxytocin is often called the “love hormone,” and it helps with bonding, creating a feeling of closeness between partners. It is released during arousal and sexual activity, but even more so during nursing. Not only that, its release produces a relaxing effect for both partners. “It’s a nice way to relax or fall asleep at the end of the day,” says Chelsea. This is partially backed up by scientific research, which shows that oxytocin can lessen fear and anxiety by reducing activation of the amygdala. Prolactin, the other hormone produced by lactation, has also been shown to lower stress in the person producing it, with lactating women demonstrating less intense responses to adrenaline.

Chelsea says that, in her relationship, nursing isn’t always a sexual act. “We may cuddle because of the oxytocin and it’s a nice way to relax and keep up [milk] supply. But there’s no difference in her role or my role in our relationship; we’re equals.” It’s why she chooses to use the word “suckle” to describe her wife taking milk from her breast, instead of “nursing.” “Nursing infantilizes the partner,” Chelsea explains. Elfin, who breastfed her own kids when they were young, says, “The reality with our relationship is that [Gavin] is an adult male and I’m a woman who has grown up children.” But, she says, “that is a very different headspace when you are feeding your child versus nursing my adult partner. I don’t want to baby him; he doesn’t want me to mother him.”

And Chelsea doesn’t see her relationship as all that different from other, non-adult nursing relationships in which one partner is lactating. “If you’re sexually active and nursing, breast milk is a part of your life all the time,” she explains. The same oxytocin that’s released during nursing is produced during arousal and orgasm, meaning that someone who is lactating to nurse their baby may also experience the release of milk during sex with their partner. In fact, Christopher, 59, says he discovered ANR after he started dating a woman who was breastfeeding her child when they met and he found that he really enjoyed the milk.

Christopher was in a three year ANR with a woman, and as their relationship grew, they found that breastfeeding was an intimate act that bonded them to each other deeply. “I have found that the connection and intimacy connected to ANR is very intense. I tend to feel a calming sense of well-being and being loved that I do not experience from any other form of intimate contact with a companion.”

For many people who enter into an ANR, the sense of nurturing the nursing relationship provides is a huge motivation – and reward. For the person being suckled, it creates a feeling of taking care of and nurturing their partner, while the person who does the suckling can feel incredibly connected to their partner and cared for by the act. “The nurturing is a huge part of it,” Elfin admits. Gavin describes it as “a primal and fundamental connection.” He says, “Something like this takes your relationship to another level. Something that is her [her milk] literally becomes part of the person that feeds on it.”

That closeness and connection is a theme that comes up over and over again in discussions on FetLife, even more than the sexual nature of breasts or the turn-on of sharing milk with a partner. One user writes, “I think it’s very intimate, but it depends on the situation and mood whether it’s sexual or not. Sometimes it evokes the most wonderful nurturing feelings and others, it’s like a red hot pool of lava has taken over my body and is bursting to get out.” In this way, ANR is sexual for many people, and part of the desire to participate comes from being attracted to the act of suckling breasts or being immensely turned on by breast play. So while the majority of ANR participants acknowledge that there is a sexual aspect that draws them to it, the intimacy created between the two participants seems to be the focus.

“[Her breastfeeding is] a demonstration of her loyalty and commitment to me in a very real way.”

“In the BDSM context, it’s the chance for her to give something directly of herself, it’s an act of love and generosity,” Gavin explains. “I’ve seen her go through the process of inducing and it takes a huge commitment. It’s a demonstration of her loyalty and commitment to me in a very real way.”

As Gavin suggests, the process of inducing lactation is no joke – it’s a huge commitment of time and effort. Chelsea described her journey to lactation as requiring a great deal of patience, time, money, and research. Elfin acknowledges that, at 55, her body isn’t really designed to make milk, but “with commitment, I can do it,” she says. She has an alarm on her phone that goes off to remind her to pump throughout the day so that she can maintain a milk supply.

In addition to the commitment involved in induction itself, once a milk supply is established, it requires a real dedication on behalf of both members of the relationship to keep it going. Breast milk works by supply and demand: if the body receives the message that no more milk is needed – say, from a lack of nipple stimulation and milk expression – it will stop producing it. But if milk is not expressed on a regular basis, it can also lead to infections or clogged milk ducts, which can be incredibly painful. Therefore both partners need to be willing to ensure that they are prepared for the high level of both physical and emotional dependence that can be created when one partner induces lactation for the other.

After Chelsea’s wife began experiencing seizures due to chronic malabsorption – twelve years after undergoing a total colectomy and the removal of several inches from her small intestine – Chelsea decided to try to induce lactation as a last ditch effort to help her, since she knew that breast milk could improve the gut health of infants due to the microbes contained within it. “The living enzymes and bioavailable vitamins in my breast milk not only slowed my wife’s chronic, life depleting diarrhea, but also helped her finally utilize the prescription vitamin regimen the traditional medical community encouraged her to follow” since her digestive system became able to tolerate it, Chelsea says. The health benefits of breast milk are not unique to Chelsea and her wife; some studies have even suggested a substance found in human milk has the potential to fight cancer. Anecdotally, people have shared stories of treating their cancer or chemotherapy side effects with breast milk. And despite the lack of a conclusive study, Chelsea and her wife feel confident attributing her general health improvement to the addition of her breast milk because “all other medical interventions in her regimen have remained constant.”

And while ANR participants enjoy their relationships immensely, many people who engage in ANR do not find it a constant necessity. Christopher’s current partner is not able to lactate, and he says he doesn’t restrict new relationships to an ANR-style. Elfin is also prone to losing her milk supply during times of great stress, like when she lost a family member recently. While she does work to re-establish a milk supply, the loss of her milk isn’t necessarily seen as a detriment to the already established connection that she and Gavin share.

While the ANR community wishes that there were less judgment and stigma around their lifestyle choice, they have also found peace and acceptance among each other. “It is not my place to set anyone straight about ANRs,” says Christopher.

Chelsea’s concerned with the way our society talks about breast milk and lactation, stigmatizing the act of producing milk. “When milk happens [during sex], if you read things about how it’s gross and how only freaks do this, it just goes further to shame people who aren’t grossed out by it.” The idea that people who participate in ANR are freaks, Chelsea says, is a huge misconception that people in the community want to disabuse. “What’s so weird about giving human milk to another human?” Chelsea wonders. “We drink milk from other species but we can’t drink it from our own?”

* These names have been changed.

Originally published on Rolling Stone

While general human curiosity may be piqued by the subject of coitus, if we have to point a finger in the direction of the real perverts in the room, they are, undoubtedly, the scientifically minded among us. According to a study referenced in our paper of record a color-printed leaflet of reasons to hate white people, millennials aren’t boning as much as previous generations did, let alone finding new ways to get elbow-deep in one another. But! In perhaps more shocking news, we’re also not not having sex; a lot of us are still doing the ol’ lay-down-move-around on a regular basis—85 percent of participants in the aforementioned study have done it in the past year. The New York Times thought it was imperative for you to know that most people in their twenties and thirties are still having sex, and even paid someone who probably has a journalism degree to let you know about it while you scrounge in the couch for quarters to pay your landlord. (Just let that sink in for a minute.)

Yes, we men love breasts and we have a bloody good reason to think about them all the time. No, we’re not saying it, science is.

According to a detailed study by neuroscientist Larry Young, the human evolution has led to a neural circuit that works on the same lines between couples as between a mother and her child.

Basically, both the bonds use a very similar brain circuit to function. Just like babies love breasts, men too, have evolved to love breasts. Read on to know how.

When a woman breastfeeds her baby, a neurochemical oxytocin, also called the love drug, is released in her brain to direct her attention towards the baby.Nipple stimulation affects the same part of the brain as vaginal stimulation and thus it can be said that the neurochemical oxytocin released while breast feeding also causes sexual arousal in women, making her focus on her partner during the sexual act.

Simply put, stimulation of breasts makes it easier for a man to turn a woman on.

This has led to the evolution of men, making them instinctively love breasts.There you go!

So, the next time a woman objects to your incessant love for breasts, you know what to say!

Source: Mensxp.com

Doctors in Barcelona have claimed that ‘sex roulette’ parties taking place, usually among gay men – and it echoes previous reports of such parties among wealthy people in Serbia.

The ‘thrill’ comes from knowing you might be infected, people who claim to have attended such parties say.

Dr Josep Mallolas of Hospital Clinic Barcelona says that the parties are a sign that people have ‘lost respect’ for HIV, in a report in el Periodico.

Mallolas says, ‘There is everything: sex roulette parties, or sex parties you can only attend if you already have HIV.’

Mallolas says that some of the parties are known as ‘blue’ parties because attendees take anti-viral medication to cut the risk of transmitting the virus.

Last year, a Serbian stripper called Tijana claimed that the parties originated in Serbia – and were named Serbian sex roulette, after Russian roulette.

She said, ‘This bizarre variation that seems popular for extreme sex. People who turn up for the party wear masks, and one of them has HIV.

‘The wealthy organise these sex parties for other rich people. The real kick for these people is apparently the risk that they might be the one having sex with the HIV-infected partner.’

And from all the evidence I’ve found, I’m far from alone. “Too slimy and soft/mushy,” one of my friends declared. “I hate it,” another texted me, not deigning to elaborate. “Too slobbery, too intense, too much gratitude expected,” said one commenter under an anti-pussy-eating confessional. One anti-oral crusader emailed me to complain: “Instead of learning useful hand techniques, most men smush their faces into my pussy and think I’ll be impressed with the effort.” Amen, sister. I’ve lamented the epidemic of fingering-phobia with more friends than I can count, as we wondered what should be done about the many men who’d love to use their mouths for 30 minutes but not their hands for five. And these are the same complaints echoed again and again when women write about why they’re not as enthusiastic about being eaten out as pop culture tells them they should be. One pro-head propagandist asserts it’s only done well about a third of the time. (A pretty generous estimate, in my, and others’, opinions.)

And bad oral is really, really bad. Like, not even worth the considerable risk of complete libido shut down if all does not go well. Where do I begin? There’s the exaggerated head movements. The humming. The saliva application so excessive I start worrying I’m experiencing anal leakage. Not only is it often performative and clueless—all show, no technique—but, for me anyway, stimulation that doesn’t actually feel good ruins me for stimulation that does. Under normal circumstances I might be really hot for that D, but if it’s delivered after ten minutes of bad head? Forget it.

There’s a reason for this recent proliferation of anti-oral screeds, mine included: Modern men are relentless in insisting they do it to us.

It didn’t always used to be this way. In the (very recent) bad old days, not only was women’s sexual pleasure emphatically not a priority, but the only acceptable way for her to derive any was supposed to be penis-in-vagina intercourse. But gradually, thanks to the sexual revolution and pro-clit feminism, men began to adopt a different attitude. Today, books like She Comes First are seminal sex manuals and sites like Bro Bible and Men’s Health share tips about how to better go down on a woman without making it out to be a big deal. American Pie, the movie that (ugh) defined a generation featured one man passing down the crucial skill to another, and getting him properly laid—i.e. “real” sex—as a direct result of his skill. And the rough, crying girl, Max Hardcore-lite gonzo porn of the early aughts has given way to the Kink.com trend of performers trembling through numerous orgasmic seizures, sometimes forced out of them by the infamous Hitachi magic wand.

There’s no doubt that some straight guys still deride women’s genitals as gross or dirty, and refuse to reciprocate the oral sex they inevitably receive, but we’re at the point where even hugely popular rappers brag about doing it. Straight masculinity has been reframed as establishing dominance through “giving” a woman orgasms, even if those orgasms are not—contrary to previous priorities—strictly penis-induced.

So in 2016, pussy eaters are far from rarities. There’s a good chance that by now, men who like doing it vastly outnumber those who refuse. Take the word of women who hate receiving; we pretty much have to physically fight guys off to stop them from latching onto us with their mouths. If you don’t respond positively to the basic experience of being eaten out, even competent oral is pretty icky.

But certain men aren’t willing to hear this. They often won’t listen to our clear statements that we’re not into it, because they’re going to be the special slobbery snowflakes who finally convince us how wrong we are about our own bodies. For men who appear to be in it only for their own ego—like Cosmo Frank—eating a woman out is far from proof positive of respecting her as an equal human being. It’s all about establishing how sexually accomplished and maybe even how feminist (!) they are.

If you believe the smear campaign against women who don’t like receiving oral, the reason for any distaste is elementary: The chick is just too insecure to enjoy it.

Certainly, this is an improvement from a time when the entire Western world seemed to have agreed to pretend the clitoris didn’t exist. But patriarchy and the cis-het norms inherent to it have a nasty way of reasserting themselves inside new, ostensibly progressive forms. Dan Savage’s widely embraced “GGG” (good, giving, game) mantra is today’s shorthand for being sexy, which means a wide variety of physical intimacy “within reason” should be on the table no matter what an individual’s own tastes. (Savage bestows a Get Out of Jail Free Card to partners with “fetish-too-far” requests like puke, excrement, and “extreme” bondage.)

Our current social standard for savvy young men and women is the sort of judgment-free fluidity—often called “open-mindedness”—that precludes people of all genders from expressing distaste for any sexual activity, lest they seem prudish and inexperienced. We’ve made oral sex de rigueur for progressive, or simply “standard,” sex—Dan Savage’s decree that you should dump someone who won’t do it to you, for instance, presumes universality of enjoyment.

We’ve gone so far that we’re back in a place where many women are pressured into pretending they enjoy something that doesn’t feel that good to them or else be shamed when they turn it down. It looks a lot like the same situation we were in before when vaginal, PIV-induced orgasms reigned supreme, right down to the outspokenly progressive, allegedly enlightened dudes accusing any woman resistant to a certain type of sex (oral, casual, or simply with them) as standing in the way of revolution.

If you believe the smear campaign against women who don’t like receiving oral, the reason for any distaste is elementary: The chick is just too insecure to enjoy it. Pop psychology says that if a woman doesn’t like a guy tonguing her, it’s because she’s neurotic and hates her own body. “A lot of women don’t like getting eaten out because they’re insecure about how their pussies look,” one site confidently states. “A lot of women have hangups about oral sex,” says another, which goes on enumerate these as “genital shame” and “trust issues.” One doctor’s advice column characterized a typical internal monologue as “good girls don’t have sex just for their own pleasure…”

No man, and dare I say no human, deserves a gold star just because they’re willing to put lips to labia.

In other words, uptight, fretful broads can’t relax enough to enjoy this premium sex thing—which obviously always feels amazing just by virtue of it involving her junk—and so the lack of enjoyment is almost entirely on her and not her partner. This rhetoric is not progress.

Many straight women are sexually experienced, sexually voracious, self-assured people who know what they like in bed. Some of them know that they don’t like laying back and taking a licking. Yet there’s a micro-industry that equates self-confidence with enjoying oral, while tacitly admitting that enjoying it may not be the norm. Articles purporting to help women learn to love being eaten out often suggest recipients are self-conscious of how long it takes them to come, worried that the man administering the oh-so-progressive mouth love is getting bored.

Folks, we aren’t worried about the guy. We know he’s loving it. We’re the ones who are bored. Because in spite of all the hype, some sex educators have found that only about 14% of women report that receiving oral sex is the easiest way for them to get off. And if we do take a long time to come (whatever that means, by whoever’s arbitrary standards) it’s likely because the stimulation isn’t that successful. Women’s orgasms don’t take any longer than men’s—if they’re masturbating. Look it up.

Ultimately, the reason why some women don’t like oral sex is irrelevant. So what if someone is too self-conscious to enjoy it? She should endure an unspecified number of uncomfortable and unsexy sessions in the hope of forcefully changing her own mind? Since when does it show more confidence to allow a man to do whatever he want to your body than it does to speak up about what you actually enjoy? Or to suffer through something sexually unsatisfying to prove some larger point?

And for the record, the number one impediment to men being any good at crooning to the conch is their conviction that showing up is the only effort required. Going down on a woman is like any skill; it takes intelligence, attention, and practice. Putting your face in the general vicinity of someone else’s genitals is simply not sufficient. Combine baseless, wrongful self-congratulation with the already inflated yet desperate male ego, and it’s a recipe for very bad sex indeed. If you’re a guy reading this, and you’re feeling exasperated, please don’t. There’s a very simple rule: Be as effusive about going down on a girl as you want to be, but don’t let your own excitement for it manifest as ignoring her disinterest.

The big secret about eating pussy is that it’s really fun to do. As someone who has tongue-tickled the pearly boat—people call it that, right?—on more than one occasion, I can report that it’s extremely sexy. No man, and dare I say no human, deserves a gold star just because they’re willing to put lips to labia. Such a notion is just another part of the patriarchal conspiracy to keep women’s sexual standards low.

So go forth with your hatred of being dined upon, my fellow harlots. A sexual revolution that requires we endure head when we don’t want it is a revolution that comes at too high a price.

*This article primarily addresses het sex because the vast amount of pro-head propaganda out there presumes the women it addresses are straight, and I’ve not come across forums of queer women speculating that their female partners aren’t wild about being eaten out because they hate their bodies. But if you’re a queer woman pressuring your partner to submit to oral sex when you know they don’t like it, you should feel bad, too!

Read more at Fusion.net

Ladies, pleasuring yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, not only is the act an exhilarating experience, it is extremely beneficial to your health and highly recommended that you do it multiple times a week.

Here are some advantages to self pleasuring

Stress Relief

One of the best health benefits of pleasing yourself is that it’s a great way to relieve stress and tension. Those few minutes (or hours) you have to yourself, with no interruptions, will help you escape all things that put pressure on you.

Sleep Aid

Just like lovemaking, self pleasure can help you sleep. It helps release tension which usually causes insomnia. Leading up to the climax, Dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone, is released. Then, the calming hormone, Oxycotin, is released along with endorphins which relaxes you and prepares you for the greater sleep ever.

Cervical Health

During the climaxing stage, the cervix opens and the muscular function known as “tenting” stretches and pulls cervical mucus which is full of volume and acidity. Increased bacteria (the good kind) causes acidity and during tenting, the fluid is moved from the cervix to the vagina, lubricating it and flushing out the bad bacteria that can cause infections.

Overall Health

Multiple studies have shown that it can also help lessen the risk of developing heart issues, like CHD (Coronary Heart Disease), as well as Type-2 Diabetes.

Discover Desires Through Self-Exploration

It is very important to self explore and get to know your body. You should know your body better than anyone else. Learning what pleases you and what doesn’t helps when looking for a partner.

Relieves Cramps

Cramps: A woman’s worst nightmare. Every month, we look forward to using painkillers and/or any remedies that’ll make them subside. Self pleasure is an easy way to get rid of them.

Boosts The Immune System

Aside from lowering your risk of developing heart problems and diabetes, self love can also lower your risk of getting colds.

Remember: A rub a day keeps the colds away

Can Cure A UTI

Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs) can be über irritating and painful. Aside from drinking cranberry juice and peeing after intercourse to avoid getting another one, pleasuring yourself helps flush out bacteria from your cervix. The more you do it, the more you’re lowering your chances to getting UTIs

Pelvic Strength

Not only is self pleasure fun, it’s also exercise. Climaxing works out your pelvic floor. As the clitoris swells up, the uterus lifts and contracts, strengthening your whole uterine/vaginal muscle area.

Facesitting, also known as queening or kinging, is a sexual practice in which one partner sits on or over the other’s face, typically to allow or force oral–genital or oral–anal contact.

Laura made me really wet this morning when she sat on my face; i love eating her!

In addition to oral-genital and oral-anal contact, the position also leaves the bottom partner’s hands free to stimulate other erogenous zones (e.g., anus, nipples, etc.).

The top partner may be facing either direction in this position. It is common for this position to form part of BDSM, involving dominance and submission, though this need not be the case.

Facesitting is common among dominant and submissive individuals, for demonstrating superiority and for sexual gratification.

Unlike smothering, in facesitting the bottom partner is not deprived of air. The full-weight body-pressure, moisture, sex odors and darkness can be perceived as powerful sexual attractions or compulsions. The person sat upon may be in bondage, sexually submissive, or simply held down by the body-weight of the other person.

My new girlfriend really loves facesitting me, every evening i have to spend an half an hour under her ass smelling her farts

Facesitting was created so that the facesitter use Full Cover facesitting, where the victim’s face is completely covered with rear.  Though it is uncommon that a man sits on a woman’s face, or a man sits on a man’s face, a woman will sometimes sit on another woman’s face..

Following are some Facesitting positions.

Frontal: When a woman facesits frontally, she is sitting on his face, with her back facing the man’s feet. This is used so that the man’s mouth is directly over the vagina. The Encouragement Rate is: 4. Facesitting was created so theat the woman’s rear would fully cover the man’s face. Frontal is acceptable, not usually pleasurable.

Reverse: This is when a woman sits on a man’s face, with her eyes looking towards the man’s feet. In this method, the upper part of the man’s face is engulfed by the woman’s rear. Reverse facesitting earns an Encouragement Rate of 5, because the fat of the woman’s rear is more frequently used.

Half: When a woman halfly sits on a man’s face, her rear is only covering half of his face. This method is mainly used in teasing. Encouragement Rate: 3. Though the rear still touches the man’s face, he is not being smothered. If the woman proceeds to enter any of the above two methods, preferably Reverse, then that is usually satisfactory.

Partial: Partial facesitting is when a woman sits on only part of the man’s face. Encouragement Rate: 2. This method has no point to it, and it is discouraged.

The Crab: This is a difficult position to describe. The man is lying down, as usual. The woman has her feet on the ground, bends backward, and then puts her hands on the ground. Her stomach should be facing the ceiling. When The Crab is used, the woman will proceed to smother the man’s face with her rear. The Crab consists of two branch-off types: frontal and reverse. The frontal crab is when the woman’s feet face away from the man’s feet. The reverse is when the woman’s feet are facing the same direction as the man’s feet. Encouragement Rate: 5. This is similar to Reverse, in the aspect that more rear is used.

Jeanssitting: Jeanssitting is when a woman sits on a man’s face wearing jeans. This method is pointless because the victim does not see any skin, which is what facesitting was intended for. On all levels, Reverse Facesitting and Sandwich (you will read about that) beats jeanssitting. Even though Frontal Facesitting is frowned upon, jeanssitting is commonly used during that method.

Here are some other versions of facesitting.

Schoolgirl Pin: Sometimes referred to as SGP. This is when a woman sits on a man’s neck, forcing her crotch to be in his face. Encouragement Rate: 3. This is commonly used in mixed wrestling, and it is a difficult position for the one on the bottom to escape.

Against the Wall: This is when a man sits up against the wall, and a woman will proceed to back into his face, then grinding her rear into his face. Encouragement Rate: 5. Though the woman is not sitting on his face, it does involve smothering.

Sandwich: This method deserves an Encouragement Rate of 9. However, if involves two women. The way you do this is: one woman lays on her stomach. The man follows, burying his face into the woman’s rear. Another woman will then follow, shoving the man’s face deeper and deeper into the first woman’s ass. Or, if you prefer, this method does not need to be used by two women. The first woman can simply lay on her stomach, and the man can dig in. Like I said, Encouragement Rate of 9.

Stinkface: A stinkface is kind of like the Against the Wall, except it is more commonly used with guys. It is also a wrestling move. In wrestling, the victim will sit up against the post, pretending to be defeated. The attacker will then back up, rubbing their rear into the victim’s face. Commonly used by Rikishi and Torrie Wilson The main fault of the Stinkface is that it is not intended for the victim’s face to enter the attacker’s butt crack, which is always encouraged. The Stinkface is mainly used as a prank. This move is extremely discouraged, since the victim’s face does not enter the attacker’s crack.

Bouncing: This is when a woman sits on a man’s face, and bounces while she does it. Despite the fact this move is used during Reverse Facesitting, it is discouraged because the victim’s face is not being smothered.

Terminology: Here are some terms, not counting the one’s above that relate to facesitting.

1) Facechair: This is the word used to describe the man who is being facesat.

2) Facesit: The act of sitting on someone’s face.

3) Facesitter: The person who is facesitting.

4) Facesat: The past tense of being facesitten.

5) Dress: It is discouraged that oral sex be used during facesitting. Because of this, women will usually wear panties, thongs, lingerie, etc.

From a variety of sources, like Wikipedia and Urban dictionary, Femaledominationworld.com, and more, but too busy licking to note them all down.