By Chili Tobasco – They are everywhere. I meet them in the Mas x Menos, at Hospital CIMA, at the oil change place and in Radio Shack. I meet them at the airport, in Aduanas and they work at the reception counter of shipping companies that I contract.
I meet them in the pool at my condominium complex. You can meet them on OK Cupid and Craig’s list, too. Real Girls all have like minded girlfriends, too.
They are lovely, gregarious and engaging modern women. From Millennials to MILFs they are pretty and fashionable and look you straight in the eye. Indeed, these Real Girls all have a lot in common; starting with the first thing they say when they meet you.
Much like vegans and cross fit aficionados they are overwhelming compelled to declare their current station in life within the first few moments of knowing you. After the customary series of gracious latino introductions they might ask “are you open minded?” To which any self-respecting man would immediately reply with a resounding Yes.
This is the point where you are inescapably and perpetually hooked. That’s when they drop the subtlest bombs disguised as innuendos between confidants: “I’m not a prostitute or a hooker,” she might say rolling her eyes as if the reference was to some lower life form. “I’m a little short on the rent this month,” she will continue with this or some other economic symptom of distress.
“If you want, I would really like to treat you like a girlfriend.” Bing Bang Boing, who could say no to such transparent sincerity? Within seconds you find yourself simultaneously opening your heart, wallet and pants. Isn’t love grand?
Meet Nicole. A model, if you will. I met her at the pool. She was dating a young Venezuelan neighbor and chatting with another lovely Nicaraguan model that happened to be escorting an older buddy of mine. We chatted at the pool until about noon when I suggested we have a little lunch at a favorite restaurant of mine. Nicole’s young Venezuelan boyfriend was half my age and at work.
Nicole needed a new cell phone and was determined to get one, that very day. Let the “Girlfriend Experience” begin. We were friends with benefits for about 7 years. She now lives in Spain married to some innocent young Catalan who is certain that he has won a prize. Indeed he has.
Girls just want to have fun, Jumbo Shrimp Tempura and new cell phones. Who can fault them?
Another thing that I have discovered is that every pretty girl in Costa Rica is a Model. Please allow me to introduce you to Laura.
Yes sports fans, if you are an avid reader of Diario Extra you know Laura. Charming and the youngest of 3 sisters, Laura was an aspiring model with an expensive apartment in Avalon Country Club, Santa Ana. Laura also had business cards saying that she was a Real Estate Broker.
I kid you not. Here she is in her other work clothes:
Who wouldn’t buy a condo from Laura? Although she never rented an apartment or sold a house or condo, Laura paid her rent by offering the Girl Friend Experience to those of us who could afford to pay her rent. I understand that she recently hooked a gringo that she met at a gym in Santa Ana and is living comfortably in the U.S. I miss her.
As much as I have fond memories of the two non-prostitutes mentioned above, there are more.
Please say hello to Alondra! More than just a waitress at the Hard Rock Café, Alondra is an actress and had a part in at least one movie made in Costa Rica, about Costa Rica. A leggy girl from Zarcero Alondra was made to rock a pair of high heels. I really thought this was the one. Although she would never consider something as common as prostitution, she had her eyes set on Hollywood (California, not the local Night Club) and she was going to provide the best Girl Friend Experience she could to get what she wanted.
I went to her home. I got to know her father and her brother. I had had café in the afternoon with her grandmother. If it were not for an unplanned bull riding accident at a rodeo in San Carlos who know what could have happened. Make your own conclusions.
When you get bucked off the back of a bronco that refuses to be tamed you have only one choice, get on another and that is exactly what I did. A bit forlorn, I turned to Craig’s List for solace. That’s where I found some provocative photos and a well written profile in English of a 30 year old Doctor who told me that she was not a prostitute but would treat me like a girlfriend in exchange for a little occasional economic assistance. Well shiver me timbers. That sounded like a plan that could work. She told me that she owned her own building in barrio Don Bosco where she had her clinic. It was all true. Here is the photo on her website:
She turned out to be one amazing oral surgeon. She was specialist, a true natural and a very open minded girl that was not a prostitute. She was living with her boyfriend of 2 years when we arranged for our first meeting. After lunch we went back to my house and I saw her every day for the next 8 days.
Then she moved in.
She needed some help paying for dental supplies and wanted to take her 5 year old daughter to Disney.
By all means, I agreed.
Gianina was not the first medical professional with her own practice that I have met while not being a prostitute. She considered it a fee for services which she was accustomed to doing after cleaning someone’s teeth.
I thought I had found true bliss, but my darling dentist was a vegan and I nearly starved to death. The girlfriend experience was everything she promised it would be, and it lasted for a year. As girlfriends often do, she got pushy and demanding and nothing was ever enough. It was time to move on.
Enter Ms New York. Yep this was an international girlfriend experience. She was here on vacation and I guess ran out of money.
Who knew? There isn’t much to say about Ms New York other than she likes to come to Costa Rica on vacation and meet new friends in the hotel bar. We are still in touch.
Of course, this report on Real Girls would not be complete without at least one reference to real working girls. You know, the kind that exchange sex for money. Please allow me to introduce you to Baby Face and Lady:
There is something refreshing about girls that negotiate the price up front that is before you engage in the girlfriend experience. These two charming lovelies were not Doctors, Dentists, Actress or Models. They are hookers and damn good at it. They are not pretentious suburban wanna be soccer moms with a secret. They are just real girls that work for a living.
If you look, you can also find the Colombian version of Real Girls like Baby Face and Lady. Please allow me to present Bubbles and Boobies:
We have been friends for years now. In this case my friends, the photo is worth more than 1,000 of my words.
To be sure, there are more and each Real Girl has her own story. Right now, I just met another local girl on a dating site.
She’s the one that asked me if I was open-minded. Of course, I said. Good, she said and continued: I’m not a prostitute or a hooker, but if you offer me something I will be happy to accept it. I’m not sure, but this could be love.
