COSTA RICA CONFIDENTIAL — The world of dating a “normal” girl can be weird if you are used to dating only sex social workers, you know, the women you pay to be with you.
What you are probably looking for is that girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, building real connections and real possibilities at romance, something that is not in the realm of possibility with an escort or prostitute.
So, here you are, on your first date. At the door, you say your goodnights and … there is no kiss. I don’t mean the peck on the cheek, “thank you for a good time” kiss. No, the real thing. Those moist lips charged with energy and passion. Ok, at least the moist lips.
So, what went wrong?
1. You’re Not Touching Enough
I’ve taught many guys who have a hard time getting down the concept of touching women that they’re interested in. It’s most likely because you’re raised thinking you should keep your hands to yourself.
I am not talking about grabbing her breasts, or feeling up her but. No, a gentle stroke of the hair while complimenting her on it, a brush up, very gently, of her thigh.
This is probably against everything you have been thaught as a kid, complete bullshit. You need to break the barrier, the “friend zone”, you know the distance that is kept between friends.
Not touching or NOT TOUCHING ENOUGH through the date don’t be surprised at the kiss rejection. If you kept your hands to yourself all night, and then suddenly try to get a kiss, you’re going to coming on too strong. You are now the creepy friend, cousin.
Do yourself and your date a favour, start touching more.
2. The Date Spot
According to romance movies the ideal first date is dinner and a movie. But that is the movies, stalking is completely acceptable. So, if your first date is a dinner and movie, you will end up spending a ton of money and end up with, “thank you, that was very nice.”
You decide what works for you, doing what you like to do and not what you think you should be doing. Be yourself, in a setting that speaks of you, who you are. Because what you think you should be doing probably hasn’t worked for you so well. If it did you wouldn’t be reading past the headline.
3. NOT Talking About Sex On The First Date
Forget the old rules that it’s rude to talke to a woman about sex, unless you are already dating exclusively. Also, forget about the “gentlemanly” thing to do, that is completley avoid any talk about sex.
Talking about sex does not mean you have to be vulgar or rude. The reason you are both dating is that you are looking to establish a relationship, that includes sex. Or maybe she is not, just looking for a night out, being pressured into dating, a free meal and a movie. Not talking about sex you will never know.
If she, like you, are looking for this to go further she will have sex on her mind as well. But, she won’t start talking about unless you make the opening. She is just as curious as your are. Trust me on this one. The thoughts in her mind are probably more graphical than yours, more detailed as well, like does he have a big cock? Why do you think she’s been staring at your hands all night?
My opening to the sex talk starts gently with a simple question like, “what’s your fantasy?”. I really don’t expect an answer, at least not what she is really thinking. Questions like, “when did you lose your virginity or what’s your favorite position?” make you look like an idiot. “Do you like women or have you ever been in a threesome?”, will make you a pervert.
Be gentle, ease her into the conversation and let her lead you as to how far she she will go, on the first date. Everyone likes talking about sex in the right setting. And your date tonight is no different.
OK, I’ve given you a lot to think about. But there is one more thing that is very important, you need to decided if you are going to be the “good” or “bad” guy. You can’t be both. And choosing the first most likely won’t get you that passionate kiss you are hoping for.
