99% of men lost their touch with their masculine polarity because of the sensitization of the unclear gender stereotypes of society. Women gained corporate power over the last decades so they don’t need us as much as it was

Article first appeared at TSG VICE. Click here to go there!

The survey was conducted of 820 women where 33% of them just want to enjoy a good gastronomic dish.

The aim of the study to was to discover the personality of women faced with an invitation to a casual date, to define their roles and discover religious beliefs towards dating.

However, the results were different, as researches discovered that up to 1/3 of women decided to accept the date just to get a free meal, that is to say, they

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Yet, throughout history, governments and lawmakers have sought to place limits on the numbers of bachelors within society by using an age-old method: taxation.

For 2,000 years, bachelor taxes have periodically appeared in societies across the world,

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Most first dates cost less than $50, according to Coffee Meets Bagel. And you should really just be trying to get two things out of one: a strong enough vibe that you connect, and clarity that you are physically attracted enough to move beyond the friend zone. Oh and probably also a kiss.

That being said, you’ve also got to not shoot yourself in the foot right off the bat by making a buzz-killing blunder. We asked 15 women for their biggest first date turnoffs. Avoid the following and you just might be ready for Round 2…

1. Kendal, 25: “When they never shut up about themselves and forget to ask anything about me.”

2. Taryn, 26: “I don’t like when dudes are too touchy off the bat. You need to feel it out first before you dive right in with the hand on the knee.”

3. Grace, 28: “If they wear something weird—like one time I went out to dinner with a dude who showed up to a decent restaurant in a Star Wars tee-shirt.”

4. Kate, 25: “I hate when they expect me to pay the bill if they’d asked me out. I don’t mind splitting it, usually, but if you asked me out, ordered for me and insisted we have another round, you shouldn’t expect me to pay all of that, too.”

5. Emily, 30: “Put the phone back in your pocket.”

6. Laura, 24: “If you get there before me, text me and ask me for my drink order.”

7. Carrie, 27: “I went on a first date with a guy last week and, when I showed up, he was there with friends. I thought I was meeting him for a drink, but I was actually meeting him and his friends who were already out for a drink…”

8. AnnaMarie, 25: “Don’t ask me out, be super indecisive, give up and then ask me what I feel like doing. Have a plan if you ask me out.”

9. Alyssa, 25: “I hate when guys pick a super loud bar where you can’t hear, or the movies where you can’t talk. Pick a place where we can actually get to know each other.”

10. Kelly, 23: “No, I don’t want to split a dish. I want my own food, and keep your fork off my plate.”

11. Tessa, 27: “If things are going well and they don’t kiss me, it’s confusing. You need to test drive the car before you buy it, so kiss me, goddamnit. If it’s a good kiss, it’ll seal the deal. If it’s an atrocious, unfixable kiss, we don’t have to waste any more of our time.”

12. Sara, 26: “Please have some understanding of social cues. I can’t stand when I’m out with a guy in a quieter spot and everyone around us can hear our entire conversation because he’s talking so loudly. It puts even more pressure on things when everyone else knows we’re on a first date, too.”

13. Josie, 25: “Being rude to the staff at a bar or restaurant is such a turn off.”

14. Sydney, 25: “Don’t be late.”

15. Lanie, 28: “It’s not fun to walk around to a million places before we can find a table somewhere. Make a reservation.”

Source: Mademan

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A swinging lifestyle is by choice. Many see it as an increase in quality and quantity of sex, enjoying the variety of sex partners, fulfilling a curiosity or need to be non-monogamous. The swinger community often refers to itself as “the lifestyle”.

Why do some enjoy this lifestyle? The reasons vary.

While, according to 2010 estimates by the Kinsey Institute “swinging is relatively uncommon in the United States”, the trend nearing the end of the decade is much more common, as younger generations practice ‘polyamory’, the practice of or desire for intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners.

• The couple have an open relationship that allows them to have sex with other people. They believe that a difference exists between love and sex – a clear separation exists between love and sex – they share a love for each other, but sex with other people.
• The wife or husband or both have always wondered what it would be like to swing. It’s an opportunity for one or both of them to experience with other people while being in a committed relationship, on a short-term or long-term (permanent) basis.
• The man wants to see his wife or partner with other men or women.
• The woman wants to see her husband or partner with other women or men.
• Couples can share their interests with like-minded friends and their open-minded attitude concerning sexuality.
• One or both are polyamorous. On that, there is a common misconception that a polyamorous relationship is really no different from an open-relationship or open-marriage. But the word “polyamory,” by definition, means loving more than one, having multiple romantic relationships at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

For couples to enjoy a healthy swinging lifestyle, there need to be rules. Rules mutually agreed up by the partners. Hard fast rules that can also be changed as the relationship evolves. This is achieved only through open and transparent communication with each other, no fear or restraints to express desires, communicate needs and wants.

There also must be no jealousy. There is no place for insecurity, fear, concern and envy in the lifestyle, There must be complete respect for each other, and always be on the same page concerning their activities within the lifestyle. If not, the lifestyle can destroy relationships and marriages.

It is not easy for the average to accept another person sexually pleasing their partner and bringing them to a climax. And sometimes in ways, they aren’t able to, the respond completely unexpected.

“You were really into him/her, ignored me completely,” she says. His/her response has to be frank and honest or this is where trouble creeps in. This is where one has to reassure the other it was a temporary moment, “playing” and now you are back to returning to your life together.

Understanding the lifestyle, keeping lines of communications open, making joint decisions on their lifestyle choices and never allowing others to come between them is the key to making it work.

Some do. Many more are never able to cross the hurdles, retreating to their boring life of monogamous sex that, for some is the answer to a stronger relationship, for others the beginning of the end.

Swinging, lifestyle, wife swapping, partner swapping, spouse swapping, polyamory or whatever you want to call it, isn’t right for everyone.

Article first appeared at TSG VICE. Click here to go there!

LDRs, to top it all, have been written about and sung about and celebrated in so many forms, throughout the history of time that they now hold a place of honour in the multitude of different kinds of relationships. The problem was that with me, the concepts of togetherness and being in love captured my attention and made me overlook the dynamics of the actual relationship.

Add to this, the distance, and you have the perfect recipe for chaos. Our relationship blossomed online for the most part. We started dating right after he left to go abroad for his education. And the distance drew me to him. I knew we wouldn’t be in the same city and I knew I wouldn’t get any of the things that constitute a ‘normal’ relationship. I wouldn’t get to touch him, or see him in person every day, there would be no kissing or holding hands, or movie dates. I would be complicated and difficult and I loved what it symbolized. To me it validated all the notions of romantic love – being together against all odds and making it work despite a nine hour time difference.

The first few months were a breeze. Drunk on the idea of being in love, we made it without any friction whatsoever. There were differences of opinion of course, but we overlooked those because we believed that what we had was special, different – it was long distance you see. Eventually though, we couldn’t gloss over the not so pretty details about where our separate lives were headed. Add to that the staccato bursts of emotion that lasted a couple of months at a time when we saw each other. Being together in person was exhilarating. It was like finally taking off after cruising mindlessly when we weren’t in the same country. Whenever I felt like bringing up the things that bothered me, there was an overwhelming sense of guilt. We were together and we wouldn’t get this again in a few days time. Should I really be complaining instead of being grateful for what I have? This meant that I ended up suppressing a large chunk of my real feelings and in hindsight, I am sure he did too. So when the fights did happen, they were explosive. Months and months of negativity poured out of us in torrents and although there were holes in the foundation, we refused to acknowledge them.

His anger issues surfaced for the first time and this pushed me further into my shell. To others, we were perfect – #relationshipgoals, the works. Only, ignoring all the problems seemed the way to go because I had taken it upon myself to confirm everyone else’s positive biases about MY long distance relationship. I held on with both my hands and refused to stay afloat even when I realised it was a sinking ship. Needless to say, the end wasn’t pretty.

I see now that we didn’t make a functional couple. What should have been perfect in theory didn’t work out that way in reality. Only what should have taken not more than a couple of months to figure out cost us a year and a half of bouts of abuse, anxiety, and the pressure of conforming. I pride myself on my rationality but I couldn’t set myself (or him) free for the longest time because I felt like I was letting everyone down in the process. We played the blame game but in a very unique way – each time we had a fight he’d say it was his fault and I’d say it was mine. I was so preoccupied with doing the right thing that I forgot that this is my life and I didn’t have to live up to the preset standards of long distance relationships.

When it ended, there was heartache but also a sense of relief. And in all honesty, it could have worked, had we not been the same people. The point of this rant is not to put down the institution of LDRs but instead to talk about why if it’s not working, it simply isn’t. You don’t need to make yourself feel guilty about backtracking solely based on it being long distance. If you are unhappy, choose yourself. If you are angry all the time, choose yourself. If you are anxious, insecure or worried, understand that you are allowed to feel all those things and that you are not forced to hold on simply because the world tells you that you must try harder because you need to compensate for the physical distance.

In any relationship, there is almost always a disparity between the kind of person we think the partner is, and the idea we have of them in our heads. It takes time to figure out what we truly like about them, and even more time to fall in love with the bits that surface after months and months of dating. Sometimes, this process is easy, but most times it isn’t. In a long distance relationship, shattering this illusion takes far more time than it would otherwise. Trapped in an endless cycle of longing for each other and an all consuming joy upon being reunited, when reality finally punches you in the gut, it is unforgiving.

Nearly a year later, we are tentative friends and we realise that we are better this way. It wouldn’t have worked out even if we lived in the same country, or state, or city. I haven’t ruled out the possibility of a long distance relationship in the future. It may work out, or then again, it may not. What goes unsaid is that I now know that people change over time, and not always for the better. And the best we can do is find someone who evolves with us, long distance or not. Maybe the puzzle pieces will never fit perfectly, but this love business is a mighty fine one to figure out.

—

Tanvi Deshmukh is a nineteen year old girl from Pune, India, with an affinity for words and books, cats and coffee, Nepalese food and hippie music, and the colour green (along with Oxford commas). Currently pursuing her undergraduate degree in English, she loves poetry, volunteers at an NGO and plays the keyboard in her free time. Along with devouring books of all kinds, unless of course, she’s in the middle of heated discussions on feminism, patriarchy, gay rights, or what to name the neighbour’s new dog.

Read all from this author.

A new psychology study published in Appetite suggests that young women respond more to romantic images when they’re fed than when they’re hungry.

In a small pilot study, a group from the University of California, San Diego put 20 women of normal weight between ages 18 and 25 into an fMRI machine after they had fasted for eight hours. The women were shown images of heterosexual couples sharing intimate moments—embracing, holding hands, etc.—along with neutral images such as a car, stapler, and bowling ball.

Then the participants were fed a high-calorie, high-protein nutritional shake and scanned again. The researchers found significantly more brain activity when looking at the romantic images in the women when they were sated.

The participants were also asked if they had tried dieting before—and surprisingly, women who had dieted were more responsive to the romantic images than their counterparts, particularly in areas of the brain associated with rewards. Lead author Alice Ely tells Quartz, “The dieters were more responsive than non-dieters when full in a brain region that’s been linked to perceived attractiveness, and given that they are a more weight-gain-prone population, it suggests that their sensitivity to reward generalizes beyond just food.”

One possible explanation, Ely says, is that eating could increase sensitivity to rewards like sex. But, she says, there’s still more work to be done to make the connection to sexual desire—after all, the images were pretty innocent. Ely also hypothesizes that “romance or romantic gestures seem more pleasant and important when we’ve recently eaten than when we’re hungry.”

It’s worth noting that the sample size for this study is small and limited, and as the authors point out, it’s still early days for this kind of research. But it’s a “good jumping off point” says Ely, and points to the potential for further longitudinal study on the connection between food and love.

You begin with the mourning phase (if you’re the one who chose to end the relationship, this lasts for a significantly less amount of time than it would if you were the unfortunate soul who never got a choice in the matter.) These are the days you spend listlessly in bed. The glorious period of has beens and would have beens and never will bes. There’s an overwhelming mix of sadness and self pity. And what you essentially do is to wait for one of these to win the war over the other. If you’re lucky, it’s the sadness that wins. Infinitely better for your fragile ego.

Then comes the reconciliation phase, where you begin to rationalize the break up and try picking up your pieces in an attempt to move on. Or, if you’re an especially emotional person, the phase in which you either drink yourself blind and drown in ice cream, eventually growing two sizes larger; or join a gym, eat food better suited for rabbits than humans, and vow to “turn hot” mostly for the ex’s benefit.

The last phase is the hate phase. This is when you sleep your way through half your city and back, or become a workaholic, whichever suits your style better. It’s also the phase in which you decide that dating your ex was the worst mistake of your life and that promptly resorting to mindlessly hating the ex is the easiest way to self love. The first thing you do, of course, is to turn the person you once loved into a mere caricature of all things nasty. You begin by dehumanizing them. They become The Jerk. The asshole who broke your heart/cheated on you/lied to you/suffocated you/didn’t love you enough… The reasons are endless, and over time, you struggle to make more up. “She had a pimple on her back, can you believe it?” “He had really oily hair, I can’t imagine how I didn’t notice it. I hate oily hair.”

In order to keep The Jerk as a faceless entity you now love to hate, you refuse to call them by their name over time too.

Phone conversations begin with “I saw The Jerk’s new display picture an hour ago. He looks awful!” Over time, every time you slip up, make a mistake, or are emotionally disturbed, it automatically becomes The Jerk’s fault. You finally have run out of clean underwear because The Jerk went cycling yesterday. You forgot your best pitch in the middle of the big presentation because The Jerk checked in at The Burger King on Facebook. You were mean to the pizza delivery guy because The Jerk got a promotion.

You make excuses for your behaviour and are encouraged to blame The Jerk by all your friends too. After all, that’s the natural order of things.

And when you meet someone wonderful, someone special, and three months into the relationship, they ask you The Question about your history, you’ll have a ready answer for them.

There was The Jerk, and before him, the Dickhead. That’s it. Just two serious relationships. And your new boyfriend will, in turn, tell you about The Asshole, The Bitch and The Slut.

The promise of a happy relationship on the horizon, you can now sink your toes in the sand and revel in the Glory of Love : until you break up with each other, then you’ll be The Whore and have the newly re-christened Bastard joining the ranks of Jerk and Dickhead.

The moral of this rather long piece of rambling is the sudden realization that I am no different from the heroes of my story. Most of us just aren’t equipped with the strength to let go without wrecking havoc with our surroundings. We don’t need to hold on to the happy memories, we aren’t programmed to move on that way. Sure, let’s be bitter. But let’s acknowledge the fact that we once cared deeply about the Human who is no more in our lives, and that they deserve to be remembered in a manner befitting the same, rather than as a faceless caricature, The Jerk. It’s not easy, I’ll admit, but all it takes is to think of the person’s name (if you want to think of them at all) rather than as the monster who ruined your life. You’ll also get the satisfaction of feeling slightly less breakable if you remove the power of destruction from their hands, because the only person who placed it there to begin with, was you.

—

Tanvi Deshmukh is a nineteen year old girl from Pune, India, with an affinity for words and books, cats and coffee, Nepalese food and hippie music, and the colour green (along with Oxford commas). Currently pursuing her undergraduate degree in English, she loves poetry, volunteers at an NGO and plays the keyboard in her free time. Along with devouring books of all kinds, unless of course, she’s in the middle of heated discussions on feminism, patriarchy, gay rights, or what to name the neighbour’s new dog.

“You Gained Weight”

No matter how many times she asks, “Am I fatter?”, The answer must always be “No”. Women say they prefer to be honest, but trust us, it’s not true.

“My ex used to …”

“My ex-girlfriend used to …” followed by any positive thing. Nothing good can come from a talk about exes.

“How many men have you slept with?”

Few women are attracted to men who are insecure and ask how many men she has slept with is the best example of your insecurity. Besides, if she’s your soul mate, who cares what he did in the past?

“Your friend (sister, cousin, etc) is very sexy”

Your girlfriend knows that her friend (sister, cousin, etc) is sensual … and does not need you to point it out. That can only lead to jealousy and insecurity on her part, followed by fights and the possible end of your relationship.

“Your best friend is unbearable”

Women build strong bonds of friendship and is likely to remain very fond of that girl you seem unbearable, even after you separate. Unless you believe that her best friend went seriously out of line, you better not give your opinion. Guys will dump their best friend for a woman. Women do not.

“You’re going to wear that?”

Asking that can only have a negative end: If you she is offended, you’ll have an argument. If she likes your opinion, you’ll be waiting an hours while she tries everything in her closet.

“You wouldn’t understand”

If you say that, you make her feel hurt, cry and make her feel useless … or she will believe you are up to something.

“Are you in those days (on the rag)?”

Never ask. If she not, she will be furious because you think it’s because of her hormones, and if she is, her hormones will ensure that you instantly regret having opened his mouth.

“OK”

Maybe to you it will look like an innocent agreement, but to her it means “whatever”. Whatever may have been the question, if you “agree”, she will think you said Ok to not object.

“Maybe we should postpone the wedding”

This is the biggest decision you can take and a retraction suggests that you are not ready for the commitment. If there is a good reason to postpone the wedding, she will see it on her own.

“You’re exaggerating”

Women tend to trust their emotions more than men, and what seems mundane to you, it may stress her out. Instead of accusing her of exaggerating, use positive reinforcement to help you discover the root problem.

Saying nothing

Of all the mistakes you can make with your girlfriend, staying silent is the worst. If you say nothing, automatically she will imagine the worst, no matter what the problem, real or imagined.

COSTA RICA CONFIDENTIAL (Ticobull.com) – While reading several articles about the phenomenon that is sweeping the United States and Canada, I can’t help think that, hey we’ve had this in Costa Rica for the longest time.

Over the years, mainly North American women, have criticized it and blamed foreigners for promoting it.

I am talking about the “sugar babies”, the trend of college or post-secondary (as is use in Canada) students seeking out older , richer “dates”.

“This is a trend. It’s growing,” said SeekingArrangement spokesman Brook Urick, citing a 42% overall increase in signups. SeekingArrangement.com is helping poor students hook up with “sugar daddies” and “sugar mommas,” to help pay for their tuitions in exchange for? “Redefine the expectations of a perfect relationship,” promotes the website.

Instead of calling them sugar babies, in Costa Rica we call young women who seek out a relationship with an older man, preferably a foreigner, to pay for, something even more important than an education, “putas” (prostitutes or whore).

What’s more important than education? Survival, putting food on the table to fee your hungry children. Milk for a growing baby. A roof over their head. Clothes to wear, etc., etc.

Yes, some of these women use the money they “earn” for things other than survival, but then do you think that all those colleges girls up north are just using their sugar daddies (or mommas) to only pay for tuition?

The high cost of living in Costa Rica and low salaries have forced and continues to force many young women, typically in their late teens and early 20s, to seek out ways to make through the day and give their children a future.

No different from up north: rising tuition, living costs, and low wages for young graduates all contribute to the “hook up”.

Of course SeekingArrangement.com and other websites like it do not promote sexual relations, but let’s be real. Urick told the Sun News that these young women receive an average monthly allowance of $3,000 a month from the financially well-endowed dates they meet through the site.

[su_pullquote]

As education costs rise, so do number of ‘sugar babies’ on Canadian campuses.

– Sun News[/su_pullquote]In Costa Rica the typical relationship between younger women and older men (and sometimes women) involves sexual relations. Do you think it doesn’t up north? Someone is going to put out $3,000 a month with nothing in exchange? If you do, I have a great deal on a piece of land for you in Costa Rica!

Before you think that it’s only a few going this way, here’s the shocker, more than 1.4 million “students” use the site, accounting for 42% of its overall membership. That’s like more than 1,000 times the “putas” in the country.

According to the Sun News article, the University of Toronto is the fastest-growing university in Canada for signups, with 195 students joining in 2014. The University of Alberta has 363 registered sugar babies vying for “mutually beneficial relationships” with one of the 1,866 Edmonton sugar daddies. The daddies are usually middle-aged, though many are in their 30s or younger.

That is about twice the number of “students” we can find at the famous Hotel Del Rey on a weekend night.

Many older men, and a growing trend of younger men in the 30s, have been and continue visit Costa Rica seeking out “sugar babies”. With the trend that is now sweeping North America, many don’t have to travel so far, they just have to look no further than their local college or university.

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